


Living the Llama Life

by TazersKaner (msrogersstark)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Llamas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 21:19:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1150903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msrogersstark/pseuds/TazersKaner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And that was how Johnny ended up buying Patrick a summer house in Peru.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living the Llama Life

**Author's Note:**

> My teacher made us do Creative Writing and my friend prompted me with Llamas.   
> Here you go.

 

“PATRICK!”

_Uh oh_

“WHY IS THERE AN LLAMA IN OUR LIVING ROOM?”

Patrick came running down the stairs. The Llama was eating the couch, chewing the stuffing and then, _oh,_ there was Johnny. He looked mad.

“What llama?” Patrick asked, trying to look anywhere other than the llama (who’d moved onto the table) or Johnny. He ended up look at the roof.

“Don’t play dumb.” Johnny kept looking at the llama standing on the table and towards Patrick who was biting his lip.

“I’m.. Not?”

“Will you just tell me?” Johnny asked, sinking into the recliner that the llama hadn’t eaten yet.

“His name is Bill.”

“How is that important?”

“Llama’s have feelings too Johnny!”

“Ok. Why is the lla-Bill, in our living room?”

“Sharpy ordered it.” Patrick looked at Johnny.

 _Of course_ Johnny thought. He should be getting paid way more for this.

“Why did Sharpy buy a Llama?”

“He wanted to.” Patrick shrugged.

Johnny resisted the urge to slam his head into the wall. ~~~~

“Hey, the llama arrived!” Sharpy cheered, walking into the room.

Johnny slammed his head into the wall.

Patrick high fived Sharpy. Johnny did his best death glare.

“Loosen up, Toes.” Sharpy said to Johnny. “It’s not everyday you get a llama in your living room or me for that matter.”

“You are _always_ in my living room.” Johnny argued. “And I never said I wanted a llama!”

Sharpy shrugged.

Patrick had wandered over towards the llama and started to pet it.

“Patrick I wouldn’t…” Johnny trailed off, his warning not coming fast enough. The llama spit at Patrick, catching him in the chest.

Patrick screamed and Johnny made a mental note (for blackmail) that Patrick screamed like a girl.

“Ew ew ew!” Patrick scrambled backwards and into the half eaten couch.

Sharpy was doubled over laughing and then Johnny saw something even more horrifying than Patrick with llama spit all over him. The llama was using the one good recliner as a bathroom.

 

“Shnarr,Shnee,Shnarr,Shnarr (Llama sounds)”

Johnny reclined back against the recliner, now refurbished. The llama had been in their house for 2 days now and Johnny had paid someone to ship it home a few days later. Unfortunately, Patrick and Sharpy didn’t understand that Chicago’s climate was not good for Llamas. They’d become very attached to Bill and Sharpy’s little daughter, Maddy, had started calling it Uncle Bill. Johnny hadn’t exactly told them about getting rid of Bill. Patrick came riding into the kitchen on Bill.

“Please don’t ruin the kitchen.” Johnny sighed.

Bill huffed.

“Don’t worry Bill, Johnny doesn’t understand llama feelings.”

Sharpy came parading into the room.

“I brought food.” He announced.

“Go Bill!” Patrick kicked Bill and they rode towards Sharpy.

Sharpy was handing out food to Johnny. Bill plowed right into Sharpy and ate the doughnut out of his hand.

“Hey!” Sharpy yelled, getting to his feet.

Patrick was looking at Johnny, laughing. Johnny sat there, dumbstruck.

Sharpy jumped up and tackled Bill to the ground, knocking Patrick off in the process. Patrick fell on top of Johnny.

Sharpy wrestled Bill to the ground.

“Stop!” Patrick yelled. “You’ll hurt him.”

“He ate my doughnut!”

Johnny just sat back and watched.

“Llama’s have feelings too Sharpy!” Patrick yelled, trying to free Bill from Sharpy’s grasp.

Johnny honestly thought that he was looking after kindergarteners.

 

When they’d managed to free Bill from Sharpy’s wrath without many injuries, they put him outside. That was when Seabs called.

“Johnny, do you have any idea why there is a llama eating my bush?”

“His name is Bill!” Patrick called into the phone.

“Johnny, this is Duncs. Get this Llama out of my backyard before he eats all of my roses.”

“I think he means business.” Sharpy said from his spot on the ground. 

“Sorry about your roses Duncs. Sharpy and Patrick will be right there to pick up the llama.”

“Bill!”

 

Sharpy and Patrick managed to get Bill into the back of Johnny’s pickup truck. Patrick gave him some treats to keep him calm and then climbed into the truck beside Sharpy.

“Duncs looked really mad.” Patrick commented.

“I thought that he was going to stab us with those rose thorns.”

Suddenly, a llama ran across the road in front of them. Sharpy slammed on the breaks.

“Funny.” Sharpy said, “That Llama looks exactly like…”

“Bill!” Patrick yelled out the window.

Bill’s head perked up and he came running towards Patrick.

The look on Patrick’s face was priceless when Bill came running over.

“Good boy!” Patrick exclaimed and went around to the back.

“I would tie him in if I were you.”

“Seatbelts.” Patrick explained and Sharpy realized that Patrick was trying to fit Bill in the cab.

Bill whined and settled down, one foot sticking out the door. Patrick decided to leave it like that and he pulled the seat belt over Bill and plugged it in.

 

When they got back, the llama adoption people had shown up.

“HIDE THE LLAMA!” Patrick called to Sharpy.

Johnny was standing beside the workers, a smug look on his face.

“You called Llama adoption?” Patrick looked devastated.

“I had to Pat… Llama’s don’t survive well in the winter time.”

“But…it’s Bill.”

“Bill is still a llama. And Llamas have feelings too.”

Sharpy was walking Bill over to them.

“Fine.” Patrick sighed, running to hug Bill.

 

And that was how Johnny ended up buying Patrick a summer house in Peru. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you thought. Un-beta'd


End file.
